After some initial how-are-you, rapport building conversation, your prospect brings up what they called you about: “I called you because I don’t like the results we’re currently getting. I’ve heard you have something you can help us with.” What an opener for someone who provides a product or service to improve whatever the problem is! Maybe; if the provider or seller listens and understands first.

At this conversational juncture the meaning of the adage “Selling ain’t telling, asking is” takes on life form with buyer and seller face to face. It’s time to get to know the specifics of what’s said and not to respond with a sales presentation because you are eager talk just about what you can do!

One of the most difficult tasks a consultant, a salesperson, a manager or anyone tasked with the role of solution provider is to effectively influence a person to clarify their expectations.

Most customers, clients or buyers need help in clarifying what the issues are! Most may even need help in clarifying their objections. Sometimes they know and can’t express it. Sometimes they just don’t know.

An early task for a salesperson with a customer service spirit is to assess if a solution you have is the appropriate resolution to a potential customer’s situation. This requires that we ask questions and as a listener, help the client turn their statements and objections into specific information we can work with. It’s sort of like taking a lump of clay and then molding it into recognizable art.

Getting the specifics of a personal experience as opposed to our assessed or judgmental interpretation gives us information from the clients point of view. It helps them clarify their language when appropriate. If you want to travel from where you live to San Francisco, California, you would use a map which goes to San Francisco, not to Atlanta, Georgia. Use your client’s map of experiences. Leverage your personal experiences to explain things in your clients' way of understanding.

How will this knowledge about listening and clarifying of information cause power? It might not. To be effective at influencing our clients and to clarify what it is they want to achieve requires us to put in action skills such as listening and questions. This requires more than good intentions. It requires commitment. Commitment to understand first, and then to be understood.