I just love it when I’m surprised by simplicity. In a world that is racing forward with new discoveries being made daily, and technological advances showing up just as fast, in almost every field of study imaginable, it seems logical that if we just wait another week or so, we’ll have access to the “be all, end all” influence technique or strategy.

What would it be like if you discovered that you already possess the knowledge and ability to do what science has proven to be the most effective concept for influencing men? Even if you work in the female oriented “Victoria’s Secret”, statistics show that a significant number of purchases are made by men, do you think knowing what moves them to action, whether you’re a man or woman, could be useful to know?

Stop for just a moment. What’s the last conversation you had with someone that left you feeling good about yourself? Isn’t it true that when someone has praised you, complimented you, or acknowledged you in some way, it just kind of warmed you from the inside out, made you stand a little taller, and had you smiling on the inside?

Anyone who has read Kevin Hogan’s best selling book, “The Psychology of Persuasion” knows that there are some amazingly powerful techniques for influencing and persuading others that have been discovered in recent years. If you have ever seen the seemingly unending rows of sales and influence books at your local book store, you’ll understand why I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor when Kevin Hogan recently told me the one thing that supersedes all others, when influencing men: Praise.

That’s right, your chances of influencing a man to do or buy anything, will go up exponentially when you sincerely deliver ample amounts of praise. Kevin Hogan knows more about influence and persuasion than most experts will ever forget. He introduced me as a speaker at his famous Influence Boot Camp in Las Vegas. He said, “I’ve coached a few hundred public speakers in my career. Every now and then, someone comes along that makes you stop and say, “Wow!” and I’ve had 4 or 5 of those people over the years; Vince Harris is one of them.” Now, he wasn’t using some intricate language pattern or complex persuasion strategy. Yet in that very moment, if Kevin would have been selling cheap versions of the once famous Pet Rock, I’d have been the first one in line.

None of us like to feel like we are being sold or persuaded; we do however like to feel good about ourselves, and when the person that helps us do so, also happens to have a product or service available, we sure do like to “repay” them for the good deeds they have been so generous with. You could actually think of it as an invisible form of reciprocity. The Law of Reciprocity states that when we give someone something that has a perceived value for them, they will feel compelled to return that favor. I ask you, what do you and I value more than a heartfelt compliment?

To be sure, there are some almost magical influence strategies that will move others to action, and they should all be used where appropriate. They should however, especially when dealing with men, be used beneath the canopy of praise. When you have first praised the person before you, everything else you do or say will have an amplified impact. It’s easy to throw a big rock through a window, but when the window in question has already been cracked, even the smallest of pebbles will get the job done.

The next time you wish to influence someone try this: forget about what methods you will use, or what masterful words you might say; the words that will be heard as “masterful” by others, are the ones that are used to deliver the sweet sound of praise…about them!

You may be surprised to discover that when others feel as though you are the “angel” of good feelings, that almost any words will be effective for purpose of presenting your proposal. You might also be reminded of how good you feel, when your day has been full of assisting others to feel good too.