It is legend in sales that selling starts with the word “no” or starts with an objection, which is sales vernacular for a reason not to buy. Objections are really requests for information. It is the sales rep’s job to help the buyer understand the product better. Objections help the sales rep move the sales process along; thus, no can be an “enabling sales technology”. Yet, the word no can be disabling for many.

Buyers will automatically say no even when they mean yes. Ever walk into a shoe store and have a sales rep ask, “Do you need any help?” Invariably, we say, “No.” Then we turn to the shoe rack and pick out a shoe and then ask the same sales rep for help. Shoe sales people learn that this cat and mouse game is all part of the sales ritual. It all starts with no.

While not of all us are cut out for sales, fear of rejection can be overcome by a simple technique called systematic desensitization. Oddly enough, the more you do something the easier it becomes, while conversely the less you do something the harder it becomes. The single best way to confront our fear of rejection is to do what scares us the most. In the shoe sales person’s case, he or she confronts the fear by continually asking the question, “May I help you?” The sales rep becomes desensitized to the rejection through repetition.

Another example is the fear of public speaking; some studies have shown the fear of public speaking to be greater for some people than the fear of death. They avoid speaking publicly at all costs. Yet, the best way to beat the fear of public speaking may be by speaking publicly. Toastmasters International, the world renowned public speaking training organization, advocates making speeches weekly to conquer this fear. They believe that only with repetition can this fear be truly beaten.

Here are few tips on confronting the fear of rejection:

- Look for no. Keep a record of how many times you hear no in a day. Try to beat yesterday’s tally. Track weekly.

- Visualize your customer saying no, but tell yourself it means they have questions.

- Let the customer know that no is an acceptable answer, since you are interested in a long term relationship with them. Watch or hear them exhale with relief. The pressure is off. Ask them to tell you about their concerns.

- Remember that in selling it is not about you. Rather, it is all about the customer; focus your thoughts on them and their needs. The commissions will come later.

So for the sales rep with fear of rejection, the best way to beat it is to pick up the phone or knock on the door. Then, go do it again. And, again.